Pressure Points

so i'm feeling a bit of pressure right now. and i don't know if i can handle it.

i turned down the car i looked at. i'm gonna hold out for something more reliable. i feel that was wise.

andy made me sort of a spreadsheet of my college costs at different universities. that really helped a lot. now all i have to do is see which college my parents can afford. my mom asked me the ole "if money was no issue, where would you go?" question. my choice would be SBU of course. i'm like 75% sure that school is right for me. the only reason i'm even looking at other schools is because SBU's $6,000 more expensive than ESU or Pitt. State. i know it's not the end of the world, but i'm still scared.

things are a little tight around here, and emotions are running high. and i'm not just speaking for myself. andy's gonna be really busy for the next couple of weeks, and the car situation is very...undesireable... benita asked me if i could help out more than just laundry. kind of share the "housewife" duties of the house. i totally saw myself almost cracking. planning meals, washing dishes, cleaning house, doing laundry, drop-off/pick-up stuff/people... i think i can handle it. i mean it really is NOT that big of a deal. but i still feel like i wanna curl up in a ball and go to sleep.

i feel so weak when i think that, but i just can't help it sometimes. in the end it only matters that i get up and do it anyway...right?

my cat understands me, i'll be fine.